Week #10 - Letting Go Of The Rope

Hello Family!

Well...I'm still here waiting patiently! It's quite fun. Sitting on the edge of my seat all day, everyday. Keeps the adrelaline goin' ya know? :) If you could just keep praying that my visa will get here soon I'd very much appreciate it. I do love it here, but I am PRETTY sure I will love it quite a bit more in Argentina. But rest assured, I am still positive and still smiling :)

I've still been focused and been trying really hard to learn as much as I possibly can here. I can honestly say that I've probably learned more the past 2 weeks than I have for the whole 2 months that I've been here. Why that is, I have no idea, but that's just what it feels like. I started reading the Book of Mormon again and it is the best book ever. I've been marking it up like crazy! There's so much to be learned from it if we just "feast" upon it. I've been having quite the spiritual feast with 1 Nephi, and it is so filling! There's so much to be learned!

One of the most important things that I've learned the past 2 weeks is how to take things a day at a time. A day at a time is DEFINITELY the way to go. It makes life easier. At this point, there's not really much else that I can do. It's so weird to be honest. I study and work all day, but I have to be ready on a moment's notice to leave the next morning to go 6000 (give or take a few hundred) miles away to a different country. I literally feel like a soldier of the Lord and I'm just waiting to be sent out right when the Lord needs me in His field.

This Tuesday we were lucky enough to hear from Elder Dallin H. Oaks! It is such a blessing to be able to hear from apostles. I love the Spirit that they bring to meetings. It's so incredible. He talked about teaching with the Spirit and it was such a great talk! While talking about that, he talked about the importance of the sacrament and he pointed out something that I should have noticed at this point in my life, but I've just always overlooked it. Through the sacrament, we're promised to be able to ALWAYS have the Spirit to be with us! Always! What blessing! I just need to remember that I will always have the Spirit to be with me. It's difficult to feel sometimes, but I always have the companionship of the Holy Ghost. Having the Spirit is crucially important as a missionary because we learn in D&C 42:14 that without the Spirit we can't teach! What do I do as a missionary? I teach! I need the Spirit!

To end, I want to share with you an experience that I had last night that was probably one of the most spiritual moments of my life. It's changed my whole outlook on my mission and life in general and I hope I can convey this experience in a way that invites the Spirit into your lives and lifts you up.

Just a little quick background info...in our residence halls room for our whole stay at the MTC it has been me, Elder Hansen, Elder Weiler, and Elder Beck. Well Elder Beck got his visa and he left for Argentina on Monday so Elder Weiler has hopped into me and Elder Hansen's companionship. Elder Weiler is a stud and you're about to find out why.

So last night I was feeling quite low. When I say "quite low", I mean VERY low. I was missing all of you guys. I was missing another certain person (I'm sure you can figure that one out). I was sad that my visa hadn't come. I kneeled down to pray last night in the dark and couldn't even begin to pray because I was crying so much. Seriously, if you added up all the minutes that I've spent crying quietly at night here in the MTC it would literally be hours. I always try to be so quiet so that the other Elders don't think I'm a baby or anything, but last night I guess I wasn't quiet enough.

I was trying to start my prayer, but I just couldn't. So I just decided to sit down on the floor by my bed and cry even more. I had my head against the wall, looking up at the roof. I was looking up and just pondered about why my Heavenly Father was allowing me to go through this pain that I was feeling. I kept on asking in my head "Why? Why? Why does this have to be so hard?"

While I was doing this, out of nowhere Elder Weiler was standing by me and he then sat down next to me on the ground.

"Elder Nilsen," he said, "I heard you and thought I'd come over here."

He had gotten up out of bed and had come over to help me. He threw his arm around me and I just felt so comforted by him. I was able to to just cry to Elder Weiler for a few minutes and tell him everything that I was feeling. I shared with him my thoughts about how hard this work was. I shared with him how much I missed my family and my girlfriend. He just sat there quietly listening to me.

After sharing my feelings with him he said that he wanted to share something with me that his dad had shared with him. This is what he told me:

There comes a point where we just get to the end of our rope. We're hanging on for dear life because we don't want to fall. We don't want to let go because we don't want to fall. We can't see how far down the fall is. It's dark. It's scary. We just don't want to let go. It's at this point that we hear a quiet voice.

"Let go of the rope."

Us, being the imperfect, stubborn humans that we are, have so much fear and hold on to the rope even tighter. We don't want to fall! We hear the voice again.

"Let go of the rope. He'll catch you."

Well, we don't want to let go still, but we don't really have a choice. We muster up all the courage that we have, then exercise our faith and let go.

We start to fall, but immediately we find ourselves caught by Him. He's not going to let us fall. He will keep us safe. He will catch us. You all know exactly who "He" is.

It's our Heavenly Father.

Heavenly Father loves us so much and he will be there to catch us when we let go of the rope. He wants us to have success and He most definitely does not want us to fall. He WILL catch us.

So this is where I'm at now. Here I go.

I'm letting go of the rope.

Letting go, but having faith to know that He will catch me.

I love you all and I hope you never forget that.

Working hard,

Elder Nilsen