You can tell it`s gonna be a tough email to write when before you even type out the first line the tears are already coming to your eyes...woo.I just hope and pray that I can SOMEhow, SOMEway convey to all of you just a little bit of what I`m feeling in my heart right now.
Before I try to sum up the last 2 years of my life in an email, let me talk about this last week really quick...
Surprisingly, it was by far the fastest week of my mission. I won`t lie, I was expecting somewhat of a slow, dragged on week, but it was quite the opposite of that. I was more focused this past week than any other week of this past transfer and I felt more peace and tranquilidad than in any other moment in my mission. The Lord was definitely helping me this week to stay focused on my sacred purpose and to not catch the infamous disease of `trunkiness`.
I just did my best this past week to do what I`d done every other week of my mission, and well, it seemed to work pretty well. We found new investigators, taught lessons, and helped people progress towards baptism. Marcelo is RIGHT there to be able to get baptized on the 25th. It`s just a matter of his drinking habit. He knows it`s a sin, he knows it`s bad for him, and he knows he`s gotta stop. He`s RIGHT there in his repentance process and I`m confident that whoever replaces me here in the area will be able to work with him to get him baptized. He`s RIGHT there.
All was pretty normal this past week until Saturday night when I had a loving surprise waiting for me in the church. A member had called us Saturday morning and asked us to help him take some chairs from their house back to the church and obviously we were more than happy to help. I didn`t think too much about it or anything and everything seemed normal. Well, we got to the church and opened up the doors and I walked down the hall and went to put the chairs in the cultural hall. I opened up the door and was welcomed to a big ol` `SORPRESA!!!` These wonderful saints had put together a surprise going away party for me ;) Goodness gracious I`m going to miss them SO much. Argh...my heart is with these people, these wonderful Argentines. It hurts so bad to leave! They had made me a cake, a little banner, and both the Relief Society president and Dario had put together videos of pics of me before the mission and then there in Parque. They love me so much ;) Have I mentioned that I`m going to miss them? The part that really got me in the videos was when the videos of you guys came on the screen...ooo, that part got me good. Tears starting coming out and my love for you and these members just overflowed. I think it was in that moment when I finally realized that I really am ending this mission and going home. Could it be? I think so...
The bishop gave me a few minutes to talk in my last Argentine sacrament meeting and before he gave the time to me he talked a little bit about my service and just thanked me. I felt humbled and very grateful for having served with all my heart, might, mind, and strength. As I spoke and shared my testimony, I just tried my very best to express the love and gratitude I feel for all of them. These people have become my family! It`s a lot harder to end than it was to start. Never did I think I`d say that.
It all started so quick...it was that moment when I was filling out my papers, having interviews with Bishop Jake and President Osborne. It was that moment when Mom and I were sorta kinda stalking the mailman, waiting for the call the arrive. The moment when I opened up that call and found out that I`d be serving in the Buenos Aires West Mission. The months before the before seemed like they`d never end. Weekly temple trips to the Provo temple, passing by the MTC and wondering what it would be like inside. Farwell talk, goodbyes (or...I guess `see you laters`), hugs, kisses (only from mom!), and then I was off.
The MTC had it`s moments too. Those first moments there in the MTC when I felt like I had just been enlisted into an army (the army of the Lord), going from building to building, picking up books, dropping off your bags, meeting your comp, and realizing that you really have just begun those `best two years.` Those moments in the MTC went by too fast (even if I had to stay an extra month there waiting for the famous visa), because before I knew it, the moment arrived and I actually left the MTC and was on my way to the mission field...the temporary one for me in Idaho Pocatello.
Idaho had it`s moments. Adjusting to missionary life, companions, working with members, speaking spanish (nodding and saying `si` but not understanding anything). Doing my best to do what I knew was best, but not really knowing what in the world I was doing. Learning quickly how to depend on the Lord because I couldn`t do it on my own. Getting over homesickness, missing the `old life`, friends, and everything else I used to have were part of the Idaho moments too. Learning lots of patience while waiting for that darn visa, but then being a little sad when the mission president called me and told me that I`d be leaving. The moments saying bye to members, companions, and the USA and taking a deep breath and stepping on to that plane that would take me far, far away from everything that I was used to.
The first moments here in Argentina were fabulous. Driving around Buenos Aires just feeling like I was in a new world (which wasn`t TOO far off from the truth) and smiling and just enjoying it all. Then the newness of it all quickly wore off and there were lots of moments of missing everything that was `normal` to me. It was the moment when me and my comp got robbed. It was the moment when I realize just how far away I am from home (both geographically and time-wise). There were the moments of lots of tears, getting the pillow really wet at night just pouring out my heart to Heavenly Father, asking him to help me in the mission He had called me to serve. It was the moment when I decided that I would push forward and put my trust in God, trusting in the fact that He would help me through. It was then, that everything started to change.
There was never a moment where it got easy, but there was that moment where it became enjoyable. It was then that I got lost in the work. That moment when I stopped worrying about me and started worrying about others and their eternal well-being. It was the moment when I realized the eternal importance of what I`m doing. It was that moment when I saw amazing people make drastic changes in their life to qualify to enter into God`s kingdom here on Earth.
It was that moment in time when I was humbled, knowing how blessed I am. That moment when I made the firm decision to NEVER complain about vacuuming the carpet again (because I actually have carpet) or cutting the grass on a Saturday morning (because I have a lawn to cut). That moment when I made the firm decision to never once take for granted my family again. Never treat them rude again, knowing that they are the most precious gift God has given me.
It was that moment when everything started to fly. When time stopped making any sense at all. That moment when I felt like I actually had my feet on the ground, knowing how to do the things God had called me how to do.
It was that moment (or many moments) when I came to realize who my Savior is. How His atoning sacrifice works for me, an imperfect person just trying to do his very best. It was that moment when I realized how the Atonement works in MY life, in MY worries and concerns, in MY imperfections. It was that moment when I realized that I don`t have to be perfect...I just have to try. I just have to try my very best and then Christ will share His perfection, His glory, His love with me. Shares it all with me so that I can return one day and live with Him and Heavenly Father once again in His celestial kingdom.
It was that moment when I realized that the mission really does have it`s end. That I really do have a life back home. It`s that moment when I realized that I have been truly lost in this work, lost in the service of others. That moment when I take a second and look back and realize just how much the Lord has blessed me and been there for me. That moment when I really see the growth that has ocurred in me. That moment when I realize that I`ve just been clay in His almighty hands, being molded to become exactly what He wants me to be.
That moment moment when I feel so humbled knowing that the Lord has constantly cared for me and watched over both me and my family. That moment when I KNOW that He has never left me...no matter how alone and abandoned I have felt. It`s knowing that He is my Father and that He loves me so much that He sent His Son to die for me.
It`s that moment when I have tears rolling down my face as I send off my last email to my family...realizing that I really am going to see them again and that we really are going to be an eternal family in God`s kingdom one day...
It`s that moment when it all ends.
But...it`s that moment when I realize that this is really just beginning and I`ve been prepared over the last 2 years to be an incredible tool in God`s hands for the rest of my life.
Moments that can`t ever be forgotten because they`re part of my soul.
Wow.
I love you all SO much. I`ll see you all so soon ;)
Coming home,
Elder Nilsen
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